I’ve often noticed when clients, (particularly women), are offered something that’s posed as a “great opportunity,” they immediately assume they should accept what’s on offer. Heck, it’s a great opportunity! They just said so! What dope passes up a “great opportunity”? What if this opportunity never comes by again?
This can be in the form of a promotion, a marriage proposal, or even a Nordstrom sale.
One client once described the feeling to me as, “I don’t even know if I want to go to the dance … but I always want to be asked anyway. And then when I’m asked, I’m caught by surprise and always say yes. Then, I’m stuck at a dance I didn’t want to go to, with someone I don’t even want to be dancing with, wishing I were back home in my pajamas.”
Preach, sister.
To avoid that feeling, here are some important questions to ask:
- Is this a great opportunity for me at this particular moment in my life?
- Would this opportunity get me closer to my own vision of success?
- Does the person sharing this “great opportunity” know me, my values, my goals, or my vision of success?
- If I’m unclear about what “success” looks like for me, how can the person offering the opportunity possibly know it’s a “great opportunity” for me?
Having a clear picture of what “success” looks like for you – both in the shorter and longer terms – is important here.
Defining Your Version of Success
When it comes to defining your own version of success, I encourage clients to think about their lifestyle using a few guided questions:
- What do you envision for your “typical” day?
- What do you want to do more of? What do you want to do less of?
- Who do you want to be surrounded by – both personally and professionally?
- What do you want to do for fun or relaxation?
- Will your choices impact your free time?
- What might your next step be after this step?
- Will this step give you the energy/momentum/skills to get you there? Might it open up a different, more interesting path?
It’s okay if your answers are grounded in financial or emotional security. You may want to be close to family, or want to spend more time with your dogs, your Peloton or your pottery wheel. Your answers might be grounded in pride, ambition, your competitive nature or other external factors. There’s no judgment here. The key is in being honest with your answers.
Your definition of success will determine if you’re being presented with a timely, “great” opportunity, or simply an “opportunity” with a really good hype man.
With more than two decades of communications experience spanning agencies, Fortune-100 organizations, non-profits and academia, Kristi Hinck Mills brings her passion for employee communications to CommsLede Consulting, where she delivers strategic solutions and executive coaching for her clients. Visit the CommsLede blog for more tips.
