This blog series addresses some common misconceptions about consulting and executive coaching. Visit the CommsLede blog or my LinkedIn page for more…
Misconception 7: Coaching, mentoring, advising … It’s all the same.
One of the first things I learned in coaching school is the nuanced differences between the roles of a consultant, a mentor, a coach, and a therapist. A significant differentiator between these roles is what I call the “listening/talking exchange.” I’m waaaayyy oversimplifying here, but generally, once the relationship and goal is established:
- A consultant or advisor tends to talk and give advice more than they listen. (You want them to do so, since you’re paying them for their deep knowledge, expertise and time.) They have answers, experience, industry insights and hacks to share, and the more they share, the more value a client receives.
- A mentor also both talks and listens, but this exchange is usually grounded in advice and guidance. This exchange is often tailored to the mentee’s personal needs or questions, and based on the mentor’s personal and professional experiences. It often involves the mentee asking questions and the mentor offering answers or sharing perspectives.
- A formally trained coach should do more listening than talking and spend their “talking” time asking clients thoughtful and provoking questions. The coach’s role is to hold space to help their clients explore options and uncover perspectives on their own, without the influence of the coach’s personal perspective, subject matter expertise or experiences. The person being coached should feel like they did most of the talking in these conversations.
- A licensed therapist uses deep listening, acting as an objective, trained guide and ear to help a client navigate patterns in their past, and the patterns’ implications on their client’s current mental health and well-being. The listening/talking change can be situational, but the client tends to do most of the talking in therapy sessions.
While each these roles can be complementary (and many clients often approach me seeking a hybrid of coaching, mentoring and communications consulting), it’s important to realize these are very distinct swim lanes, and the professional ethics and guardrails, training, experience, and mindset required for each role is significantly different. I always am transparent when I’m transitioning roles in client conversations and offer my clients choices. (E.g. “That’s an interesting question. I’ll respond with my coaching hat on, but we can always circle back for my consulting hat if you want to take a different approach.”
Since anyone can technically call themselves a “coach,” and formal training/accreditation can be an expensive, time-consuming, and laborious process, it’s important that folks interested in pursuing the coaching path understand these nuances. (It’s also critical for coaches to clarify their role, and manage client expectations upfront.)
From the start, the first question I ask clients is, “Are you looking for a communications consultant, a mentor, or a coach?” I’m careful to explain the differences, so my clients can make an educated decision.
With more than two decades of communications experience spanning agencies, Fortune-100 organizations, non-profits and academia, Kristi Hinck Mills brings her passion for communications to CommsLede Consulting, where she delivers strategic solutions and executive coaching for her clients. Visit the CommsLede blog for more tips.
